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Now I have to leave sparkly reindeer food and cookies and milk out for the big man and his team. My daughter was five, and at two she was already questioning the Jolly Old Man. I think it was a secret ploy disguised in an act of kindness to torture me for being a stay-at-home mom. I am out of ideas and refuse to go on Pinterest for elf-posing tutorials. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free. Actually, I refuse to go on Pinterest, period.

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Leslie. Age: 28.
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There was no way my daughter would hear about you while riding her princess bike in circles around a synagogue.

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Blakely. Age: 31.
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Screw You, Elves!

Throw in A Charlie Brown Christmas and call it a day. Santa came down the chimney, filled your stocking, and went on his merry way. Then last winter my mother showed up—with you! And, before I could stop her, she gave you to my daughter, which ignited a ridiculous new family tradition. A fallen Catholic and a non-practicing Muslim found utopia. I mean, how much can one woman handle? Suggested Reads January 4,

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